EDITORIAL – #MeToo movement has challenged socio-sexual freedom

Friday, January 12, 2018 ~ EDITORIAL ~ by Mary P Brooke: #MeToo movement has challenged socio-sexual freedom

In a quick news clip on international TV this week, French actress and producer Catherine DeNeuve called the #MeToo movement a witchhunt, and high-power American magazine editor Tina Brown in a CBC-TV interview on the topic before Christmas readily observed that all revolutions have innocent casualties.

For every man who has been lumped into this swirling abyss and every woman who has publicly lashed out about a range of ‘touching’ encounters, let’s get some further perspective here.

It’s all about boundaries, the line for which has continually shifted in society since the Dark Ages. Ground rules in the 2018 context: unwanted sexual advances whether in public (not to be confused with a friendly hug) or private are inexcusable, and of course criminal offences like rape are obviously not part of what we’re talking about here. In the cases of sexual harassment the dynamic has to do with whether the action could be interpreted as coercion or blackmail. All persons in the workplace and on a career track have a right to respectful interaction with colleagues and their audiences; that’s simply about being professional, regardless of gender.

This new puritanism that seems to be sweeping North America in particular is a strange denial (or perhaps backlash to an oversexualized culture) against the fact that sexuality is part of the human experience. Hurrah for the opening up of the definition of sexuality in recent years to include the full range of LGBTQ2 (and let’s add to that whether sex is engaged in within or out of the marriage property arrangement, is serially monogamous, or in any other consensual variation).

What appears to be happening is a singular distillation of about 50 years of women’s migration into the even-playing-field of careers in business and politics. A bit of shock-and-awe, if you will, as women have encountered the rough and tumble of business and the old-boys’ network in full swing. For example, in recent years, Canadians have become only mildly aware that even the House of Commons structure has no sexual harassment policies and that ‘stuff’ goes on.

DeNeuve and about 100 actresses, writers and academics whose letter was openly published in LeMonde on January 9 slammed the slew of “denunciations” that have occurred in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein sexual harassment and abuse allegations. They outlined that rape is a crime, but trying to seduce someone, even persistently or (awkwardly), is not – nor is men being gentlemanly a macho attack. Consensual love, flirtation, romance, nurturing friendships (regardless of gender), and casual sex for its own sake… are we losing track of the normality of all that?

An excerpt from the letter: “What began as freeing women up to speak has today turned into the opposite – we intimidate people into speaking ‘correctly’, shout down those who don’t fall into line, and those women who refused to bend [to the new realities] are regarded as complicit and traitors.” … “Instead of helping women this frenzy to send these (male chauvinist) ‘pigs’ to the abattoir actually helps the enemies of sexual liberty – religious extremists and the worst sort of reactionaries.” What needs to shape up here is women’s awareness that the business world (which very much includes the high-profile arts and entertainment industry) is not like having tea with your sisters.

By all means advance your career and capitalize on your talent, but a mature perspective on the realities of achievement (sexual issues management or otherwise) amidst competition really needs to be part of every woman’s toolkit. And more broadly, why is society falling for this vigilante momentum that seems to allow anyone to say anything about anybody and have it ruin a person’s career, relationships, family life or financial well-being? It’s important to believe people when they speak up about their troubles. But what happened to rule of law  (including slander and libel), both sides of the story, innocent until proven guilty, and a recognition that words flung loosely do have the power to damage lives.  As they teach in martial arts, sidestepping the thrust of someone else’s aggressive lunge is smart — it’s less harmful to the would-be victim while being a more powerful as a statement of presence.

Of course every person (woman or man) should speak up if harm has been caused on any level including career, finances, personal safety or emotional integrity. But let’s not make social media in particular the open dumping ground for every little thing that ever happened to anyone along the way.

By corollary, it’s almost more intimate to ‘Friend’ someone on Facebook or “Invite’ them on LinkedIn than to give them a hug at a Christmas party. Connections of mind and association of reputation are as powerful as body contact, sometimes moreso. A woman who claims her power of body, mind and spirit will aim to be intelligently well-equipped to manage the outcome of her experiences whether in career, relationship or matters of body, health and sexuality.

Effectively timed intelligent complaint to the appropriate recipient is a superior skill. Damaging a slew of others along the way with one’s overreaction to things is simply not cool and can take a lot of unintended bystanders down with it. And by the way, the feminist backlash to DeNeuve’s comments this week gives feminism a bad name. Respecting women for their full rights and potential is a core plank of feminism, which really, afterall, is about respecting everyone.

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